This is not the Germany entry for the Eurovision Song Contest 2018. Disappointed at Germany's recent efforts, I have written my own song to help them along. Feel free to give your country's points in the comments section. (Lyrics below)
Lyrics:
I’ve watched the vision for 30 years
All the glamour, the winners and tears
But I’m not your typical euro fan
I wear dark suits and not into glam
And I’m also as straight as can be
No tiaras or beards for me
I’m no Lena and can’t really sing
It’s probably why my phone didn’t ring
They’ll never send me to Lisbon
I am not going to Portugal…
Hey, no kidding I’m no Måns Zelmerlöw
But I’m still willing to give it a go
No one ever said I could sing
A tad important if you want to win
I’ve got no moves and can’t really dance
But I’m still willing to take a chance
I’m not young and pretty but middle aged
But still willing to get up on that stage
They’ll never send me to Lisbon
I am not going to Portugal…
Yeah I know it’s not the best song I wrote
But hopefully more than just a bit of a joke
No pretty girls or special effects to see
It’s just this song, my guitar and me
And who knows with a bit of luck
I might help Germany break the duck
Just one more thing there before I stop
If this goes viral then all bets are off
Lyrics:
I’ve watched the vision for 30 years
All the glamour, the winners and tears
But I’m not your typical euro fan
I wear dark suits and not into glam
And I’m also as straight as can be
No tiaras or beards for me
I’m no Lena and can’t really sing
It’s probably why my phone didn’t ring
They’ll never send me to Lisbon
I am not going to Portugal…
Hey, no kidding I’m no Måns Zelmerlöw
But I’m still willing to give it a go
No one ever said I could sing
A tad important if you want to win
I’ve got no moves and can’t really dance
But I’m still willing to take a chance
I’m not young and pretty but middle aged
But still willing to get up on that stage
They’ll never send me to Lisbon
I am not going to Portugal…
Yeah I know it’s not the best song I wrote
But hopefully more than just a bit of a joke
No pretty girls or special effects to see
It’s just this song, my guitar and me
And who knows with a bit of luck
I might help Germany break the duck
Just one more thing there before I stop
If this goes viral then all bets are off
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